I am ALIVE

Especially lately I feel like I am just surviving… not being able to talk much, eat, walk, or even listen to music… but I know that in this pain, God is still here.. and on Him I can THRIVE. and LIVE my life to the fullest. I smiled so much today. I also almost threw up after trying to get some food in me, cried tears from PAIN when my shirt touched my head as I was putting it on, went to the doctor for the second time this week, took three different kinds of meds and nothing took the edge off the pain, AND I just sat there staring at the wall… for no other reason besides the fact that it was peaceful. and quiet. and I didnt have the strength or energy to do anything but that. but most importantly… I SMILED. a lot. because of God. because I know HE LOVES ME. and He has me. and that is enough. even in this… He is enough. so I will live to the fullest! even if the fullest is not being able to eat or walk or talk or listen to music or do anything and to be in constant PAIN with no answers! its full because of HIM. thank.You.God.