Be Still

This week has been crazy...

 but God is so faithful. He has gotten me this far and I know He will continue to take care of me!!! lately I have been getting so restless. I am so tired of being stuck in the house!! and everything in me wants to go to work and teach my girlies. I miss them! I think that has been one of the hardest parts about this pain, just not being able to work. but giving it to God and HE HAS THIS. I am so exhausted all the time still too so please be praying that when I go back to work next week I will have the energy and strength!! Even right now I can barely keep my eyes open.. But I felt God pulling my heart to post and give an update, I am praying for the words.

He has been holding my heart so close. So many times I've cried and He always holds me in those moments. I am never alone. He will never leave me. Thank You Jesus.

I started physical therapy yesterday and it went really well! Although it hurt to stretch and strengthen my muscles, I was so encouraged to be getting some help. She said that I should recover quickly and I am so stoked about that! God is so good! He has an awesome plan for all of this! I just know it.

I was also able to get out of the house yesterday and today and go to the BEACH! Oh my HEART this cheered me up so much!!!! My amazing boyfriend took me there and took care of me the whole time. I am so thankful for this! Thank You so much Father! You are beautiful LOVE! and you know what I need. thank You thank You thank You.

I seriously can not do this without Him. He is my everything in every moment. He is the joy when everything looks so dark. I am so thankful for Jesus. more and more I want to be like Him every day and I am really understanding that HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. He is the only one who can truly understand where my heart is and what I am going through. He is the only One who can change me. and that is what I need the MOST. more than healing and more than peace I need my heart to be changed! To stop living for myself and live for HIM ALONE. He is so worthy!!!! I am so blessed!!! This is amazing GRACE!

I am honestly so scared to have my surgery tomorrow to get my wisdom teeth out. I've been trying not to think about it, but when I do I get really sick. BUT HE KNOWS. I have no reason to doubt that He will come through and HOLD me in every second of this. I have been through so many treatments in the past for my head. The worst one that I can think of was when I got about 10 shots in the back of my head without any kind of pain killer. I just laid there with my face in a pillow crying my eyes out. but God was with me. I could feel Him just holding me and I knew He was going to take care of me... most of my treatments have been like that.. I'm always so scared but then I just pray and He shows me that He has been there the whole time already... and even if that was the only purpose of the treatment... that is enough for me..
So even though I am scared right now I can remember that HE IS MY ROCK and HE WILL COME THROUGH.

I have some rocks in a jar on my dresser.. and they have dates on them so that I can remember when God has gotten me through a hard time and let me LIVE life to the fullest because of His love... ebenezers in a sense... and I know that after this surgery, I will have another stone to place in that jar. because THAT IS MY GOD. THAT IS HOW HE WORKS. I am so obsessed with God. just who He is. ahhh! makes me want to cry. He is really teaching me to be still and KNOW that He is God. He is in control and I don't have to be. I just need to let go and He will take care of everything!!! ahhh! haha it is so hard but I need to remember this more and more and more.. and I also need to remember that resting is ok!!! Its actually ENCOURAGED. hahaha

OH How I need You, Father! You are my only Hope! I am so thankful for Your love! I rejoice in Your constant care and love! There is nothing sweeter on this earth than knowing You this intimately!

I am Yours, God. No matter what the outcome. I am Yours. <333 nbsp="" p="">
Thank You so much for all the prayers and support! It has encouraged my heart so much!!!! I hope you guys know that you are storing up so many treasures in heaven for the love that you pour out on me! It is truly from God. so thankful.. so so thankful.